Life on Trial

Everything about today means that I don't have time to write a blog entry. There are far too many things that must be accomplished so that the tour for this music group I have been managing for the past week can start and end without a hitch (that can happen, right?).

But today is an interesting and important day for Saskatchewan's understanding of human rights.

Today, the court battle over the rights of gay men to marry superceding the rights of civil marriage commissioners to deny their public services because of their religious beliefs begins.

Read about it here, from the CBC news.

I'm going to do my best to watch this case unfold. It will be quite interesting - and I hope the result is something that everybody can appreciate.

s-l-o-w down tiger!

I know I am not the first person in the history of the world to think this:

Wow! Those are some really great pants. I bet they would look great on my floor...

Last night I went out with a friend of mine to a local bar. He wasn't wearing particularly great pants. The thought above is not a caption that came to mind when looking at him.

Rather, I kept on thinking this whenever my bartender would turn around and I could see just how perfectly his grey dress pants manage to caress his thin muscular legs and well-defined ass. The fact that he was wearing a v-neck - an accessory t-shirt that, if worn well, can melt my butter in any Saskatchewan winter - did not contribute to his overall hotness factor.

Complication: he has a wife. And a son, named Isaiah. Which usually is enough to make me look away and start thinking about other things.

But I just kept on looking at those pants. When something looks that great you can never turn away. It would be like walking through St. Peters Basillica trying to find the bathroom and ignoring all of the stunning artwork on the walls. The way these pants fit this man - it was a work of art.

Complication: you recall my straight married friend that I have struggled loving? I'm sure you do. Well, he works at this bar though I thought he had quit and wasn't expecting him to be there. He greeted me, and then introducted the Mr. I-Wear-My-Pants-Really-Well (fictitious name) as his best friend that he has known since grade 2.

I struggled to keep my jaw from dropping. The world suddenly seemed even less fair. This is where I should turn off the horny and start focusing on things like beer, or the conversation.

And yet, while my friend and I were talking of largely inconsequential things looking in the direction of the aforementioned pants man (seriously, if all bartenders are this attractive, I'm going to start spending more time at the bar stool and less at the table), I kept on being more and more impressed by this man's pants. His v-neck... his tattoos...

And couldn't help imagining the way they would wrinkle on my floor...

Today I embarked on two weeks of complete non-sexuality which, being essentially the first twenty-two years of my life, has put me back in the closet. I'm managing a young adult national classical music touring group. I'm looking forward to it, but in the expectation of being professional at all times my sexuality is to be suppressed. Again. Before it is more thoroughly enjoyed... That being said, I almost went out with a bang.

I told the friend who I went to the bar with last night that I was gay, immediately after we left the bar. I started by telling him how ridiculously attractive that man was in those pants - and that he really wasn't interested in having me watch him glide around that floor like the winged piece of glory that he was he wouldn't of worn them. That is one hell of an introduction to my sexuality if I say so myself...

And then, leaving out other aspects of our conversation, he offered to kiss me.

I think it was the alcohol talking, because this friend of mine is straight. He's not even bicurious (despite this sounding as though he may be). For my personal dignity, and his, I said no.

I've said this before and I'll say it again. Straight men may be damn attractive, but they are not available. I just have to remind myself of that.

And try not to think about those pants for the next two weeks... and what kind of shape they would be in after a night of resting on my floor...

The events that change our world are often subtle. Revolutions regularly start as an idea that is put into practice on a small scale, then flourishes, and suddenly consumes society. It is shocking when it happens, and nobody really understands what started it until they look back and consider the moment of human's ingenuity - when it caught on, and how it refused to fail.

As a people, we like to imagine that the world we live in is planned and controlled. My worldview, and the way that I have been trained to study history demands this. Things happen for a reason, that intent happens, and leads to other events. Everything is logical - can be traced.

We also like to focus on what many historians call "Pop History". The events that entered the media but really did very little to affect reality.

One such event happened today, in Vancouver, when a man was sentenced to a year in prison for his singular attack on a man walking down the street holding his boyfriend's hand. As a gay community, we should celebrate this moment for the use of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms in penalizing a hate crime - a rare event for us. In the same city though, Lisa Reimer, a Lesbian teacher working for a Catholic School was put on teacher suspension after parents found out about her orientation - the school board, knowing they can't fire her because of the Charter of Rights and Freedom, have put her on marking duty. Its a kick in the teeth.

We'll focus on these events, with really considering the social revolutions that are defining us a people. I don't mean to be offensive to Lisa or Jordan (the man attacked), but in the long run, the crimes committed against them should not be over-sensationalized by the press as the canvas of our society runs with paint of other, more distressing realities.

A film for you to watch - containing a message that we are all familiar with, but need to be continually reminded of.



How do I become hydro-carbon neutral? Is it event possible? How do I change my daily living so that I impact the natural and human environments not just less, but positively? When can my understanding of humanity extend beyond my community of friends and family, my national concerns, my international concerns, and become holistic? Holistic in the sense of definition rather than in the sense of the buzz-word.

A website I recommend to you.

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I have a new goal. Everytime I go and purchase foods of any sort, I will donate food to the food bank. I'm going to try and start with one item per purchase - eventually I want to move towards a tithing machine. To humble me to the needs of the people around me that I don't know, that I choose not to see, and not to interact with. Who have an equal right to food as I do.