I wonder if he realizes that every time I look up at him and earnestly ask what it is that I should do with my life, I am really asking if he would be willing to leave his wife and travel the world with me, exploring the cultures and vistas of our sprawling planet just as I would like to explore the intricacies of his skin hair body teeth lips fingers penis tongue anus.

Nobody would have to know except for him, the walls - the mattress. I won't mention it ever. I'll just shine forever like a constellation slowly rotating around the planet telling everybody about the events that have happened thousands of years away and the events that will happen and that should and shouldn't happen, and people will try and understand them just as they do the stars - construct false stories and myths that only hint at the greatness of the truth. I'll be happy.

Instead though I'll ask him for help.