Thursday, October 28, 2010

Hurt...

There is nothing like being gay.

Nothing I can imagine.

It forces you to eat your pride, swallow it whole. Allow it to progress through the endocrine system, leave the bladder and spilled to the ground. Rolled around in - smelled.

This is what being gay does to your pride.

Because you are constantly reminded that there is something wrong with you. Something not quite right with you - not quite normal. Something you can't ignore, avoid, live without. And yet is something you embrace.

Until you can no longer embrace it.

I wish I could tell that man who decided that Tim Hortons was a great place to very publicly discuss some men that he saw at Superstore that I am not a "faggot" - but that I am gay.

And I wish I could tell him that I completely embrace it.

But one of these would be a lie.

"... I focused on the pain.
The only thing that's real."