Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Untitled, Unposted #2

I never asked to be gay. I'd actually rather be straight. I doubt that anybody in the entirety of existence has wanted so immensely to be normal from the outset of his life - and known that he couldn't be - quite as much as I do.

I will always be different.

2 comments:

  1. I know it is cliched but it is true that our differences are what make us unique and beautiful

    ~I Love You~

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  2. Hey mud_rake, thanks for coming back.

    Admittedly, this is an old post. It reveals some of the insecurities about homosexuality that I had last year as I was beginning to more openly be challenged by it. My concept of "normal" has changed a great deal since then... though it is probably still wrought with images of heterosexuality.

    'Normal' to me seems natural. It has only been recently that I have been able to see my sexuality, and the sexuality of everybody else on this planet, as 'natural'. Before this, I always imagined it was the result of some problematic wiring in my brain, or a response to some traumatic event from my past that I don't remember. These are some of the causes of homosexuality that I grew up with.

    The thought of 'nature' did not even make sense to somebody who felt so immensely separated from the rest of the human population.

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