"If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a moral one; or it may be a physical one; or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a struggle." - Frederick Douglass


An Egyptian friend of mine whose family still lives in Egypt sent me this quote yesterday.

And then he demanded of me...

"What is out there is immoral and bad. Where is it? In Egypt. What do we fight for? And are we prepared to fight? Yes, we are. But are you? Will you fight beside of us - become one more drop of water in our rushing ocean tides?" (I had to translate this from French - he does not speak English well and grew up in Quebec)

Stunning.

And then I found this on GayEgypt.com (thanks to gay persons of color):

"Egypt's gay and lesbian community has had enough of years of police brutality and torture and GayEgypt.com calls on all lesbians and gays to join their brothers and sisters on the street to peacefully express their demand for immediate change."

You know those characters...

You know those characters. We find them around us all the time. In books. On the news. In the line-up at the shopping mall (and not at Wal-Mart, right guys?).

This one hit me in the face in a film. A film that was made for me, and only me.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.

It features all the coolest things from my childhood.

Like video games. And imagining massive sword fights where my defeated enemies fell to the ground. And trips to Toronto's Casa Loma to watch the filming of a show. And fighting over Chinese girlfriends (which didn't happen for me), dating blonde rock chicks (which didn't happen for me), and then fighting off her new vegan boyfriend (which didn't hapen for me). And sleeping in my gay room-mates bed because I can't actually afford one of my own (which didn't happen for me).

But lets talk about the characters rather than about the life that I wish I had (seriously, sword fights all around me...).

Particularly that gay room-mate.



Friends, meet Wallace Wells.

And, friends, let me tell you why I should hate him.

"Look, I didn't write the gay handbook. If you got a problem with it, take it up with Liberace's ghost." (he says this in the film).

But I can't. I can't hate him. Because he was hilarious. His floozy, sleep-around, drunken and live-for-the-moment character; his I'm-the-cool-room-mate that you sleep with; his way of pushing Scott out of the bed near the end of film so that he can use it for sex (for a week). I should hate him. WE should hate him for showing a side of the gay life that isn't completely true, but is so clearly an introduction to gay life that young people who want to have daily sword fights and battles with ex-boyfriends (and girlfriends) will see.

But I can't. Instead I laughed. I hope you did too.

"Okay, presumeably, you may have just seen a dude's junk, and I'm very sorry for that... so is he."

William

I danced beside you tonight. Not with you. In the same dancing circle of ridiculous movement set to a monotonous beat, so with you. But not with you. I was beside you on the outside rim of the circle.

I wanted to dance with you. Ask you for your number. Suggest coffee, or tea, or a walk, or beer. Or wine with cheese and a bread platter. Whatever interested you.

Because. You were physically attractive. And dramatic women who I don't really like decided you were rude for some reason in a sideways conversation about you. And I like people who are just barely arrogant enough, just barely sensible enough, to know that they don't need to be friendly with everybody they meet when they are mostly comfortable with the people they know. That entices me.

And the way that we looked into each other's eyes only after avoiding them, and continue to avoid them afterwards, and took glances again and again. Hoping not to time them at the same moment - the electric pulse of the air and the flash movement of poor lighting putting us both at risk.

So. William. Hopefully I didn't miss my chance. And I can one day have the opportunity to dance with you rather than in a circle that we both happen to be in. Hopefully before then you learn my name.

It's Neal.

And - if you have to search my wallet for it while I am using your toilet the following morning - I won't mind. Even if you tell me.

It's Neal.

The Book of Eli and the Last of the Crazy People

A movie. Mediocre at best (and one that loses its meaning more as you think about it).

A book. More than mediocre, at best (and one that I think haunts more as you think about it).

That is my title tonight...


As tonight I watched the Book of Eli, with friends that I am beginning to see more and more as the Last of the Crazy People.

I just don't get 'belief' anymore. Not in the same way that they do. And I don't think that concerns me anymore. Other than for the fact that they can't perceive 'belief' as anything less than what they 'know' it to be.

That concerns me.

Because what they 'believe' in and what they hold as 'true' are flimsy. Not false - but probably wrong - yet flimsy.

Are they crazy for believing in it? Or did I miss the point of the film. Or the Book of Eli.

"To be 'gay,' I think, is not to identify with the psychological traits and the visible marks of the homosexual, but to try to define and develop a way of life."

- Michel Foucault

This makes me wish more than ever that everybody had the profound opportunity to be 'gay'.

Children are beautiful.

My friend just had one with his wife.

He is an honourable man. A good husband to his beautiful wife. And a fantastic father to the son that he already has.

And I am very, very happy for him.

Land of living skies...

Saskatchewan is, at one moment, a source of immense pride and, at the other, a source of shame.

Earlier this week, the Saskatchewan Court of Appeal upheld a ruling of the lower courts, saying that marriage commissioners could not use their own personal bias as a means of determining who it is that they marry. In effect, they could not refuse marriage to anybody, regardless of sexual orientation, skin colour, or other feature. It is their duty as representatives and employees of the government to provide marriage to those that choose not to have a religious ceremony.



As such, the individual rights of the commissioners are superseded by the rights of the marrying couple. It is now unlawful to deny one's services based on conscience or religious ideals.

I imagine this is a cause for celebration for many.

Unless you are a member of the Saskatchewan Party. The governing party of our provincial legislature had asked the court to consider two alternatives. One would have allowed marriage commissioners to deny public services to gay couples, and the other would have allowed only marriage commissioners licensed before the legalization of same-sex marriage to do so.

Both were ruled unconstitutional. (though perhaps not entirely unacceptable?)

Maurice Vellacott, a Member of Parliament and the Conservative Party, and an outspoken opponent to same-sex marriage: “The Court has hereby belittled religious faith or any faith for that matter. It sets up a hierarchy of rights saying these same-sex rights are more important than freedom of conscience and religion.”

Is that really what the court did?

Read. Don't Read.

Over the past several months, without the pressure of school work (other than applying for graduate programs) and only working one job, I have found myself fortunate enough to have free time. I've used it to play the piano, play video games, try and learn a new language (German, I'm looking at you), and, most enjoyably, read.

In this time period, my favourite facebook application has become Virtual Bookshelf - where I can show my friends what I am reading and share my perspective on books I have read in the past.

I am currently reading one of the most compelling books that I have ever picked up. I don't agree with it, but I find it hard not to be completely wrapped up in it. I look forward to finishing it (I'm about a quarter of the way through) and sharing my thoughts with you about it. With any chance some of you have read it (it is a classic) and we can discuss it.

Anyways.

A book you should read:

Alias Grace by Margaret Attwood. My first Attwood book turned out to be a truly gripping novel written with incredible style and tackling some very serious and complicated issues. I was completely impressed by the book from cover to cover.

A book you should not read:

Homecoming by Bernard Schlink. My second novel by the writer of The Reader, and I was thoroughly disappointed. It unravels and intoxicates you, though you are not entirely certain of why. It is neither compelling nor a complete story - like a first draft or an outline that could've been something great if only it were fleshed out more and the ending was changed. I would not recommend this novel to the worst of my enemies.