I love being gay.
And I love being more than gay.
I love how being gay has granted me an opportunity to discover parts about me that I wouldn't have otherwise done. The coming-out process of tackling one's own self-hatred and winning means that you have confidence to try new things out. I no longer feel bound by the ideals of manliness or gayness, or by any ideals other than being myself.
But being gay has given me an opportunity to dance with people, to laugh with people, to cry and hold and nourish the soul. It has given me confidence, torn it down, given it back. It has made me a martyr and a saint and a golden child and a black sheep. It has allowed me to sing with passion, to teach with personal experience about pain and healing, and it has made me cherish those moments of loneliness that so rarely puncture our hectic lives.
And so I will dance, I will sing, I will teach, I will climb mountains, I will free fall, and I will get back up and try again. Because I am gay. And because I am more than gay.
This is how I wanted to spend my February. As a single man I had no hands to hold or eyes to stare into on the 14th, but I had 28 days to remember what it is that I love about the world that I live in - and, by proxy, what it is that makes me feel complete. And my list just kept on growing through the month, as I had moments that I loved and wanted to add to the list but couldn't because I already had 28 items. It was a month-long reminder that there are reasons to live - reasons other than being gay or straight (though these are also reasons in and of themselves). And these reasons abound so long as you will look at the world with eyes prepared to see, ears prepared to hear, hands prepared to touch.
Loving. Learning. Living. And never ceasing.
I love being gay.
And I love being more than gay.
Nicely done, Neal. This was a wonderful series. In a sense, it was a twenty-eight day exploration of what you're grateful for. And what you found was, the more grateful you were, the more you had to be grateful for. You can't beat that positive energy you put out there.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great concept this was. The whole month was about love, not just the day itself, and not just toward one important person in your life. I think we all learned a lesson here, and I thank you for that.
Thanks Rick! I really enjoyed making this series - for all the reasons you stated. But I knew where it was going before it even started. Nonetheless, it did open up my eyes to the world and the small joys that it provides me on a regular basis. It kept me from getting bitter about pretty much anything...
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