Tuesday, August 24, 2010


I want to remove myself from the Internet.

More specifically, I want to remove myself from Facebook. Is it too late?

You may be familiar with a man named Alex from previous postings on this blog. He is that man that I took out to do Astronomy with, the closest I have ever had to a date with a man, and the closest I have ever come to letting loose and allowing my tongue to plant a flag on his - to make it my territory to own, settle, mine, and exploit.

Well, Alex still talks to me on facebook. And he has pictures of himself on facebook. And I want to know, why is it that I can't stop looking, wishing.

Dreaming and failing to fall to sleep.

Why couldn't I have put more effort into discovering your domain and deciding what to do with it while you took advantage of an opportunity to be experimental. Hopefully.

I should've mentioned to him that, when I said I was a touch-guy rather than a sight-guy (talking about sex), and he said that I would one day make a wife very happy, I should've mentioned that I wasn't looking for a wife but a husband. Just as an off-hand, completely comfortable response to clear the air.

And make it all the more possible for him to explore my ______________ (fill in the blank) with his tongue, to make it his territory to own, settle, mine and exploit.

1 comment:

  1. Neal, there's a lot of passion and longing that comes across in your posts. Good job. Not one of us couldn't understand, and identify with,
    what you're feeling and going through.
    Oh, and your sweetness and innocence comes across, too. And there's nothing wrong with that. You will indeed make someone a wonderful partner someday.
    Hang in there. You don't know when it will happen, but it will.

    By the way, what is the significance of your blog's name? I looked up Majdanek, and I'm sure I don't need to tell you it was a German concentration camp during WWII. What is the connection between you and a concentration camp? Just wondering.